The Working Mom by Kay Luna

I tried to prepare my little Babycakes (20 months old) for her first circus experience last night, telling her that there would be lots of boys and girls there, and lots of music, and it would be loud.

After her fear at the dophin show at the Brookfield Zoo, I figured I better prep her for the unknown a little better this time.

But I also stressed that the circus would be SO MUCH FUN, just like the circus books that she likes so much.

She didn’t believe me. She cried almost all the way to the circus for no apparent reason.

She still was a little uncertain when we got inside the packed-full-of-people i wireless Center, clinging to us as we our way slowly through the body mass to get to our seats — and did I mention these were RINGSIDE seats? Front row. Close to the action. Way close.

Too close? Maybe at first, judging by Babycakes’ reaction when the music swelled and all the clowns — so many clowns! — seemed to pour into the ring, running around, waving at us directly. And then, one clown chose our spot to toss a bucket of confetti right onto us.

I thought it was wonderful! Babycakes? Not so much. She buried her face into her Gma’s shoulder, shaking and wimpering for the entire clown segment.

But then, she started taking short peeks out toward the ring, and when she realized there were elephants and horses and zebras and tigers — well, then, that was a different story! It took her a little while to warm up, but then, she was INTO it! Clapping, cheering, smiling! She loved the animals.

We even got to participate in the “celebrity circus” parade, going out into the ring and wearing silly “Bello” hats that made our hair look like it was standing straight up like Bello the Clown’s hair. We got to ride in a “train car” in a circus parade, and see all the clowns and elephants up close! It was so cool to get the perspective of what the circus performers see from inside the ring. Very, very cool.

(My parents-in-law still are getting over having to wear those hats and dance, though! teehee! I promise, I didn’t know! haha!)

So, now that it’s over, what is she talking about most about the circus? When I ask her if she went to the circus, she thinks for a second and then says, “YOWWWWD.” Translation: “LOUD!” haha!

When we were leaving the house this morning, she saw my ”Bello the Clown” hat lying on the dryer by the door. She pointed at it and said several times, so I would understand her, “Keeeeoooowwwwwnnn.” Clown.

“That’s right,” I told her. “Do you like clowns?”

“Yeeesssssss!,” she said.

She must have changed her mind overnight!

There’s still time for you to go with your family to the circus, too. The show will be at the i wireless through Monday, Sept. 1. Click here to go to the Web site that tells you all about it.

(Photo on right: Babycakes thought it was very strange when the elephant sat down, right in front of us.)

(Things got happier when Daddy gave her some chips and cheese dip. Yum!)

(She loved the tigers — so did Mommy and Daddy. They were so cool.)

Thanks, Mr. Luna, for the photos, and for going to the circus with us. Thanks also to Babycakes’ grandparents who proudly came to share the evening with us. And hugs to my brother, his friend and daughter (my niece!), who surprised us at the circus, too.

Tonight is our big circus night. I’ve been talking to Babycakes about it, but I don’t know if she understands what I’m talking about.

The closest thing I can compare it to, as I talk to her about it, is her series of baby books called, “Jo-Jo’s Silly Circus Train.” Her eyes lit up when I told her we were going to a circus like Jo-Jo’s.

Are any of you taking your families to the circus this weekend? Any big plans for Labor Day weekend otherwise?

Teen driving is scary to me.

I know I was a terrible driver in my teens — and, so, the thought of my own teenager driving makes my heart want to stop temporarily.

Well, here’s more to make us nervous — and not about them driving, but about them NOT driving. A new study written about here shows that most teen drivers fasten their seatbelts, but teen passengers are far less likley to buckle up.

More scary stuff: The story says auto accidents are the leading cause of death among adolescents in the U.S., accounting for nearly 5,000 deaths and over 400,000 injuries every year among teens 16 and older. The crash rate for teen drivers is four times higher than for older drivers.

So, do you talk to your teens about buckling up ALL the time, and not just when they’re driving? How do you feel about teen drivers piling up a bunch of kids in a car and driving around? Do you let your kids ride with teen drivers?

Babycakes is going to see her very first circus on Thursday night, and I can’t wait to see how she reacts.

She LOVES animals, so I hope she really enjoys the performance. But you never can tell how a toddler her age is going to behave, especially when it’s an evening event …. She sometimes gets pretty cranky between about 7:30 and 8:30 p.m., when she gets sleepy.

Want to take your baby to the circus, too? I recently learned that the Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey circus has a program that offers a free ticket to every child for his or her first circus — regardless of age.

To get the tickets, parents need to complete a registration form in the “Special Offers” section of the circus’ Web site.

For Babycakes’ first circus, several family members will be there — but not my sister. She says she’s against circuses… What do you think about circuses?  Harmless or hurtful?

My 20-month-old daughter is starting to “pretend” play, using her imagination and talking about it.

She told me the other day, “I … Elmo.”

“You’re Elmo?,” I asked.

“Yes,” she said, giggling.

“Well, hi, Elmo!,” I answered. “Who am I?”

“Amy!,” she answered, laughing some more.

Then, she said Grandma Stubbs was “Big Bird.” More laughter ensued!

By the way, I’m not sure which “Amy” I was representing when I was pretending to be Amy, because Babycakes knows TWO ladies named Amy. 

One is her loving daycare provider, who has been gone on a week’s vacation and Babycakes has been talking about her RELENTLESSLY. She pretends she’s calling her on the phone, saying, “He-wo, Amy?” (She was very happy to see her again this morning).

We also know my old college friend, Amy, who is the famous Mommy of Ella. These are the people who visited when we rode the train to Chicago and went to the zoo.

So, who knows which one she was thinking of that day, but it was still hilarious! Especially the thought of Grandma being Big Bird …

I’m working on a really cool project here at the Times, and I want to give you a sneak-peek at it … and ask for your help.

We’re looking for women AND men in the Quad-City area – from all walks of life, all backgrounds, all income levels, all family sizes — to talk about family planning (or the lack thereof).

No, I don’t need to know what birth control you use, etc.

What I’m interested in is launching a discussion about how people decide if they’re going to have children, or do they decide at all? Did you talk about it with your partner, or not?

If you decided you wanted children, how did you end up with the number of kids you have? Did you set out to have such-and-so many, or did they just “arrive?”

And did you have these children in your younger years or on the verge of your older years (or both, like I did)??? Why was that?

Just so we all feel comfortable, I’ll share first. I did not plan my first child, a son who will turn 17 next month. I was just 17 — his very age now — when I had him. I didn’t plan him, but I love him more than words can say. Fifteen years later, my husband and I DID plan our second child, a daughter who will turn 2 in December. I had her when I was 32. It’s a crazy, crazy life being the mother of two children at such opposite ends of the age spectrum, but what the heck.

I could say more, but why? I’d rather hear from YOU.

So how about it? Would you be willing to talk to me about this, using your real name, for this project? The more, the merrier. Please consider this.

If you’re interested, you can call me at (563) 383-2323 or e-mail me at kluna@qctimes.com. I’d love the chance to tell you more about this, and hear your stories.

 We had a GREAT time together, Babycakes and I, while I took off several days from work. We mostly enjoyed what they call a “stay-cation,” spending most of our time lounging around at home.

Except, of course, we did take our big trip to Chicago on the train! You will be proud to know that Babycakes was very well behaved on the two-hour train trip, and seemed to very much enjoy looking out the window. She wanted me to read her “The Little Engine That Could” book over and over again, as the train click-clacked down the tracks.

At one point, she kneeled against the window and kept yelling, “Cows! Cooowwwwws!!!!” I think she was calling cows, but I can’t be sure?! We never saw any, but we did see a few horses along the way, which was very exciting

I couldn’t believe that she didn’t nap on the train. Not one wink. Too many things to see out the window.

We had a blast with our friends at the zoo. Here is a photo (thanks, Amy) of Babycakes and her friend, Ella, looking at the sea lions while we waited for the dolphin show to start.

 Babycakes actually was very scared during the dolphin show. She didn’t like all the splashing water, and she clung to me, shoving her face into my shoulders during most of the show.

But she LOVED the gorillas! She is still talking about the “Mommy” gorilla who picked up her “baby” gorilla and hugged it. She says, “Hug,” while she wraps her arms around herself and rocks back and forth, with the sweetest smile on her face. 
 

It never, ever, EVER occurred to me that I should give birth at home instead of the hospital.

First of all, I would have been terrified to do such a thing away from the potential assistance of medical personnel.

OK, yes, I’m a wimp. Not too wimpy to give birth (that takes GUTS and strength, let me tell you), but definitely too wimpy to do it without an OB/GYN and nursing staff in the wings.

Secondly, I can’t help but think about the mess that might occur…Yuck.

But I just read a story on one of my other favorite blogs, MotherTalkers, about a woman who says she had “about the easiest birth ever” at home, took a shower and then went outside to BURY HER PLACENTA??!!! (Oh my god, that’s another discussion altogether!).

Back to the main topic at hand: Would you ever consider home birth? Do you like knowing you have the option, at least?

There is quite a controversy brewing over home births, and our very own Debbie Young of Lowden, Iowa, near the Quad-Cities, is weighing in on the discussion in the national media as the current president of DONA International, an organization of doulas.

Doulas, by the way, offer comfort and assistance to laboring and birthing women, and also offer help for families getting settled in after a new baby’s arrival.

Young is speaking out against the American Medical Association for supporting legislation that some physicians say could make having a planned birth in one’s home difficult, or even impossible, according to the story linked above.

What do you think? Do you know of anyone in the Quad-Cities who had or is planning to have a home birth??? I would LOVE to talk to them. If we have local people willing to talk about this, maybe this would make a good story for the newspaper.

(And as a wrap-up, no, I didn’t give birth at home, and NO, I didn’t bury my placentas! haha!)

This weekend, I will be lucky enough to witness another first in my baby daughter’s life: Her first train ride.

Obviously, I’m very excited about plans to take Babycakes (19 months old) on an Amtrak train this weekend from Galesburg to the Chicago area. We will be meeting up with Amy, one of my old friends from college, and her 4-year-old daughter, Ella.

The highlight of the weekend, besides spending time with Amy and Ella, will be going to Brookfield Zoo. Babycakes LOVES animals and the outdoors, so I can’t imagine her not enjoying such an awesome zoo.

But I am a little nervous about keeping Babycakes busy on the train during the trips to and from Chicago. I figured the train would be easier to handle her on than going all that way by car, with her “stuck” in the carseat for hours on end.

Still, how many times can we color and read books before she will want to run crazily around the train? teehee.

Has anyone done this recently with small children? Do you have any coping mechanisms (besides drinking heavily — haha) to share? I did find this Web site that offers travel tips for families with toddlers, but I’m still open to other ideas.

I don’t know about you, but I’m perfectly fine with creating my own dysfunctional family without the help of a guidebook. teehee.

But if you need a little help (and who doesn’t need a refresher now and then???), here are some tips from “The Official Guide to Dysfunctional Parenting,” by Frederick Muench and Gregory Nemec:

* Cry over spilled milk.

* Promise them, “After the game, we’ll get ice cream … if you win.”

* Appear on a reality or daytime talk show with them.

* Teach them to always do what their conscience tells them to do — unless the popular kids are doing the opposite.

* When the new baby arrives, tell the older children that their turn is up and it’s the baby’s turn to be loved. 

* There is no way to control your child. Once you come to this realization, it’s easy to let them do as they please.