The Working Mom by Kay Luna

(Everyone sing along) … It’s my birthday, too, yeah! ha.

It’s true, it’s my birthday. I’m 34 today.  I’m still practicing how to say “birthday” with Babycakes, although she did pipe up with another good word this morning: “CAKE!”

The librarian here at the Times, Roy Booker, e-mailed me a list of historical facts about July 31,1974 — including this shocker: Gas was only 53 cents per gallon!!!! Stamps were 10 cents each. The song “Kung Fu Fighting” was popular (gawd!).

And my Mom likes to tell me that the week they brought me home from the hospital was the week Nixon left office.

Things are going great for me today … I started it out right, with a donut — right alongside my friend and co-worker, Lucinda, who is celebrating her birthday today, too. How are things your way?

I can so relate with empty nesters. I think I lived in such dread of the day that my only child would eventually leave the house, and I would lose my primary role as mother, I decided (among other reasons) that we better have a second child, and pronto … Now, we have a 16 year old and a 1 year old, so we’re dealing with a whole new set of stuff (oh, empty nest, where did you go? Haha!). But I digress …

I’m looking for people who have dealt with the empty nest, or are facing it very soon. Are your kids getting ready to go away to college? How are you preparing YOURSELF for this transition?

AND IN OTHER BUSINESS … Babycakes STILL hasn’t forgiven us for leaving her with Grandma last weekend, while we attended a conference out of town. She wouldn’t look at me or talk to me on Monday morning. She seemed to be warming up last night, but when she saw me putting on my makeup this morning for work, that was IT. She had a MELTDOWN.

Maybe she felt abandoned or betrayed. Or maybe she was just used to hugging Grandma all weekend.

I don’t know what was really going on in her head, but I’ll tell you what — Babycakes (19 months) was MADDER THAN A HORNET at me and my husband this morning.

The girl spent the weekend with her Grandma while we were out of town, and when we got home late last night, she was already asleep.

When she woke up this morning, there I was, smiling and cooing and ready to hug and kiss her. Oh, but “not so fast” is what her actions told me in no uncertain terms.

She cried and kicked and screamed and refused to hug me or kiss me, and wouldn’t even talk to me or — GASP! — let me READ her a BOOK!!! This went on for probably a good hour or longer, until she finally let me sit her on my lap for a book. Then, she slowly warmed up and started saying a couple of words. Finally, she reached up and ran her fingers through my hair and kissed me. I finally was back in her good graces.

Oh, but THEN … it was time to take her to daycare. Ugh! She did fine, but I asked our sitter to please give Babycakes some extra hugs and kisses today, and she assured me she would.

We’ll see how she acts when I pick her up tonight.

How are you doing????

You know how it is — juggling work and home. I had all kinds of balls in the air early this morning, as I struggled to get some laundry done before work, get myself and Babycakes ready to go, get the girl to daycare and then drive through Andalusia, Ill., for one more look (for a story I’m working on about the storm aftermath).

I’d been in such a hurry to leave the house that I forgot to grab breakfast, so I had quite an adventure looking for a drive-thru that was open in Rock Island, which is still suffering with a lot of power outages. Finally found one with a relatively short line, and made it through.

THEN, I had to hightail it to Davenport — with my dog, Guinness, riding shotgun – to get him to the groomer for a long-needed bath and trim. Of course, I got lost getting there, but that’s not a big surprise.

Anyway, I was so happy when we pulled in and parked, because the dog usually gets carsick. He pukes every. single. time. I take him in the car. Period. But he looked like he had stayed upright the whole ride this morning, and I was praising him for holding it together ….

That was until I opened the door and coaxed him out — and saw the big, foamy pile of wet dog food filled puke on the front seat of the car … right under where he had been sitting all this time. SO GROSS.

Ugh. I’m just grateful that it’s not going to be hot today. I don’t want that stuff to ferment while I’m in here at work. haha!

How are you doing this morning? Please share your “juggling” tricks today.

Marriage is great, but let’s face it — it isn’t always fun. 

So, a story in USA Today says couples should make it a rule to infuse more fun time — free of all the stresses about family and finances and work and everything else — into their marriages, so they stay together longer. 

From the story: “The more you invest in fun and friendship and being there for your partner, the happier the relationship will get over time,” says Howard Markman, a psychologist who co-directs the university’s Center for Marital and Family Studies.

“The correlation between fun and marital happiness is high, and significant.”

We probably don’t do this enough at our house, but who has the time? Between work — his, especially; he works six days a week! — and the kids and household/yard chores and wind storms and oven shopping and other stuff that always seems to come up, we sometimes let the “fun” stuff we do together go by the wayside.

How do you “invest in fun and friendship” in your special relationship? Any tips/ideas to share?

I laughed when I decided to write about this, because my Mom gets so uncomfortable when I write the word “breastfeeding” here. LOL!

So this will probably really get her: A mom who just weaned her daughter, who is FIVE YEARS OLD. She even celebrated this milestone by making a “breast cake,” with photos included if you follow the link. Ummmm, yeah. I’m pretty much at a loss for words about the whole thing. I guess, to each their own …

Personally, I think the cake was way over the top. And five years old? I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. (Seriously, you have to read the linked blog post above to truly appreciate it!!!!!) 

What do you think? When do you think a mom should stop breastfeeding? Is a child ever “too old?”

Power is still out at home, just like it is at thousands of other houses and businesses across the Quad-City area.

But Babycakes’ daycare is back open today. She got a generator hooked up to power the house, so she was able to take kids today. That’s a good thing.

And it was looking like I was going to arrive at work early this morning. I was so proud that everything was working out, as I sat in line to cross the Arsenal Bridge.

Then, BANG!!!! A truck in front of me suddenly reversed and rammed backward into the front of my car. I’m fine. The car isn’t. I had to pull a “Dukes of Hazzard,” climbing out the driver’s side window, because the door wouldn’t open.

But things could be worse, so I’m counting my blessings.

After I wrote this post this morning, I had to come back and add this line, after reading another post on MotherTalkers about a family dealing with much, much worse in San Francisco. The writer’s third-story landing collapsed while her brother was carrying her daughter down the stairs; the girl is OK, but her brother — just 22 years old — is not expected to ever walk again. Horrible.

Sigh.

So, how are you all doing? I haven’t heard from many of you — maybe your power’s out, too? Please fill us in.

After a big wind storm blew in and knocked down trees and power to my neck of the woods today, I had no choice but to either stay home with Babycakes (19 months) in a hot house with no power, or bring her to work with me this morning.

I chose to bring her to work. She went out on her first “reporting” job as we went house to house, her on my hip, avoiding downed trees and power lines as we interviewed people about the storm for a story I posted on the Web.

And she’s been in the office with me since 10 a.m., coloring and eating Cheerios and quietly greeting people. She’s been generally very good, but poor Melissa Coulter …. Babycakes took a liking to her, and now says her name over and over and asks to sit in her lap. I don’t think Melissa minds too much.

Truly, EVERYONE has been wonderful about Babycakes being here. One of my co-workers said he wishes we could have a baby here all the time, because it makes people smile. I don’t know about htat — I don’t think I’d get a whole lot done if she was here every day, but I’ve been surprised at what I have been able to do with her here. I’m even being productive!

The experience just reminded me (again) of how lucky I am to work here with such great people. Case in point: One of my co-workers does daycare during the daytime hours, but doesn’t usually watch kids who aren’t related to her (she watches her brother’s kids). She has offered to watch Babycakes this afternoon, so I can finish a little bit more work here today.

Sometimes, it takes a village.

What’s going on in your world? Were you affected by the storm today?

For almost 34 years (gulp!), I’ve been doing my hair. So, you’d think it would be easy to do my daughter’s hair.

NOPE. Apparently, my vast experience in fixing my own hair all these years, and doing the hair of all of my friends (even CUTTING my friends hair once in high school — remember that, Chelle?) doesn’t count.

I laugh every morning as I struggle to chase my Babycakes (19 months old) down, comb in one hand and rubber bands in the other, trying to tame her wild curly mass of hair. It is a challenge, my friends.

She’s got a hair growth pattern that, dare I say, looks oddly like a curly mullet (sorry, baby girl, but it’s true). It’s shorter on top, longer in back, but so many strands are not quite long enough to pull back into a full ponytail without wetting it all down or adding several barrettes … which she promptly pulls out.

Most of the time, she sports a single ponytail on top of her head, and let the longer layers fall over her shoulders, a la Pebbles Flintstone. Very sweet.

What about you? Do you face some of the same challenges? How do you get these kids to sit still so you can do their hair? I never had this kind of trouble with my boy.

You might have noticed that the last three blog posts I wrote this week have disappeared. Sadly, they are gone forever — caused by a computer program glitch. Sorry about that! We were getting some good discussions going, and then, POOF!

So, let’s review:

1.) We were talking about teens and their slim chance nationally to land jobs this summer. A Washington Post story written by a reporter in Chicago says teens are finding it difficult to land service-type jobs this summer, because they’re competing against older, laid-off workers and others in need of extra cash.

Parents of teens, what are you seeing as the job climate for youth in the Quad-City and Gateway areas this summer?

2.) Are any of you planning on taking road trips with your families for vacation this summer? I was wondering if more people might do this, because airline tickets are getting to be so expensive (but then again, so is gasoline).

If you’re planning on jumping in the car and taking off on a family trip this summer, where are you going? And do you have any tips for keeping kids occupied on long car rides?

If you read some of the comments on that post before it was deleted, you probably read one readers’ advice: Don’t let Dad drive drunk on the way to Florida. Alcohol and family trips don’t mix.

3.) A Bettendorf woman named Tammy Ryan, who works as a doula, is leaving for Africa very soon on a mission trip to teach others her skills in assisting women who are going through labor and childbirth. She shared this exciting news: “Pastor Flory (of Africa), who is the one pulling this training together, has just told us that a MUTWA woman, or as we say, Pygmee woman, will be attending the training with us,” she wrote in an e-mail to me.

Here are direct quotes from Pastor Flory, who described the pygmees as “uncivilized first habitants of Africa and have not responded to civilization. Many live in the deep far forest far from people and don’t wear clothes. They do not have either clinic, pharmacy nor school. But, our church is trying to work among them. Now, we will have one of them coming to the training. I am sending you this information to help convince some friends, church members and willing people of the capital importance of this training. Imagine how many pygmees we will reach through that one woman. This is a miracle if they respond to the teaching.”

I think this is fascinating, and can’t wait to hear how the trip went when Tammy returns in August. If you’d like to hear more or help her pay for the trip, e-mail her at servanthands123@aol.com.

OK, please comment away on any or all of these three topics below! Thanks.