The Working Mom by Kay Luna

OK, one more sad story for my blog. Please forgive me for posting one more, after a couple of really sad ones.

I guess now and then I like to remind myself how precious life is.

Getting the chance to meet James and Chiara Hemsley and their little daughter, Norah, really cemented that feeling for me. I wrote about them in a story that ran on our front page today.

Their first child, Samuel, was full-term when he was stillborn in May 2006 — the same year my Babycakes was born. LIstening to their story made me think a lot about the parallels of her pregnancy and mine, and how differently they turned out.

I had to blink back tears when I first watched the DVD of black-and-white photos of the Hemsleys snuggling with their little Samuel — knowing he had died, and they would have to find a way to go home from that hospital room … and go on with the rest of their lives … without him.

They have managed to go on, still remembering Samuel. They have another child, a healthy little girl, who is 9 months old now. Life is good again for their little family.

It was a painful road, but their story does have a happy ending!

I guess it’s true of a lot of things in life, for all of us: Sometimes, you have to go through a lot of tears to get to the smiles.

See this cute little girl? She’s just 2.

Her mom calls her a “miracle baby,” born in the midst of her cancer treatments. Despite it all, little Angelina came out “perfect,” she said.

But she won’t get to grow up.

A TV toppled off a cart and fell on top of her, killing her. Here’s the story about it.

It’s a sad reminder for all of us — including me — to be extra careful when our toddlers are climbing around on things, like they have a tendency to want to do. We don’t have TVs on carts anymore, but what about computers? Lamps? Even heavy framed artwork?

Like Angelina’s family says in the story, we have most of our cupboard doors so child-proof that we can barely get them open. But it’s worth the time to check everything again, and think hard before setting something down where the baby can reach — or climb.

It’s amazing how fast kids can move at this age. At my house, one minute, the baby is playing with a book on the floor. The next minute, she’s dumping the dog’s water bowl and splashing around in it … or worse.

I’ll be thinking of Angelina’s family tonight when I go home and hug my little daughter (and also send “virtual” hugs to my 16-year-old son, who I love with all my heart, too).

Update: The father in this case, 20-year-old Joshua Mauldin, has been sentenced to 25 years in prison. They say he has to serve at least half of that sentence before he can ever be released. Here’s an excerpt from the Associated Press story:

“GALVESTON, Texas (AP) - Minutes after a jury sentenced him to 25 years in prison for severely burning his daughter in a microwave, a teary-eyed Joshua Mauldin listened one more time to details about the pain he had caused his child.

His daughter Ana’s foster mother fought back tears as she detailed how after being injured, the girl’s left hand was so burned that there was no skin, no muscle, no fat, only tendon and bone.

Ana suffered second- and third-degree burns to her left ear, cheek, hand and shoulder and has required several skin grafts. Part of her left ear had to be amputated.
Her foster mother, Heather Croxton, testified about Ana’s screams as she’s undergone painful surgeries and physical therapy that will continue for years.

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Oh. my. god. This story literally makes my stomach hurt.

A 20-year-old father in Galveston, Texas, was convicted today of felony injury to a child for — brace yourselves — putting his then 2-month-old infant in a hotel microwave … and then turning it on for 10-20 seconds. He already had reportedly punched the baby and put her in the hotel safe and fridge at some point, according to the story that you can read by clicking here.

Oh, and I bet you guessed it already. Yep. He claimed he was insane at the time of the abuse. The prosecution’s experts didn’t buy that, and neither did the jury.

The baby, named Ana, is one year old now. She still has wounds that need cleaned every day, according to her foster mother. Officials say Ana suffered second- and third-degree burns to her left ear, cheek, hand and shoulder and needed skin grafts.

Doesn’t this make you heartsick? I think about my two precious kids, and I just cannot imagine doing something like this to them … or to any baby, period.

And what’s the possible punishment for this loser dad? The story says he faces “anything from probation to life in prison.” Probation?! That’s actually an option in this case? I’m shaking my head in disgust right now.

We made it through Easter — snow, sleet and all. Yep, it started sleeting right about the time we had Babycakes outside in her winter coat and hat, trying to point out Easter eggs hidden in my Dad’s yard.

She got five of them in her sack before we ran for cover, watching the rest of the kids finish out the hunt from a window inside the warm shop building.

She liked the egg hunt, and all the goodies in her Easter baskets, but she is LOVING a plush mechanical toy she got that, when you drop it on the floor, sings and talks and rolls all around the room. It’s loud and obnoxious and she LOVES IT.

I thought it might scare her, but oh no … She SQUEALS with laughter when it goes, and finds it incredible funny when the dog runs after it, too! By the end of the night, she was dropping it … repeatedly … (just ask my husband, who was downstairs listening to the thump, thump, thump, thump above him) all by herself.

Another new thing she discovered: She likes my deviled eggs — and pickles, which I had out for the juice. Who knew?!

On a bittersweet note, we spent the day before Easter with my 95- and 90-year-old Granddad and Grandma, who live in an assisted living place nearby. Grandma is still pretty much herself, but Granddad … He just wasn’t right.

Granddad has been showing signs of Alzheimers’ type symptoms for quite a while, but he seemed particularly bad on Saturday. He didn’t ask us any questions or try to interact much, which isn’t like him. He could hardly stand up to get to the dinner table. He didn’t want dessert — and he never turns down pie. He couldn’t even remember how to put his hearing aid in, and he’s worn hearing aids forever.

I left feeling happy that I got to see them, but sad that Granddad didn’t seem right — and sad for Grandma, who worries about it.

For those of you who have read some of my families’ comments on my blog about Grandma and Granddad when they were young (including my uncle’s memories of Easter with them on my previous blog entry), they were hilarious and great fun “back in the day.” It’s good to remember those stories and smile.

How was your Easter? Tell us all about it.

As my Babycakes likes to say, “No, no, no” …. Let’s not talk about how cold it’s supposed to be this weekend, when we’re trying to hunt for Easter eggs.

Instead, let’s dish about Mary Kay Le Tourneau. Remember her? I still think it’s intriguing to read all the stories about this former elementary school teacher, now famous for having a 10-year affair — and two kids — with a boy she started having sexual contact with when he was only 12, and she was 34.

They even ended up getting married in 2005, which I thought was even more interesting. I mean, what the heck?!! Can you imagine a 34-year-old woman feeling attraction for a little kid like that? It’s horrible. But I guess I wasn’t outraged. I thought it was disgusting, yes. But I sort of secretly cheered when they ended up getting married so many years later.

I don’t think I would have been so entertained if the tables had been turned — if Mary Kay had been a male teacher who seduced a female student.

Is there is a double standard here? A lot of experts think so. A story I read online in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says female predators often get lighter sentences than males. Read about it yourself by clicking here.

According to Gordon Finley, psychology professor at Florida International University in Miami, the female is likely to get a suspended sentence. A male is likely to get a 20-year sentence.

He goes on to say this: “Many of these female teachers who have sex with a child go on national talk shows and say, ‘I was an excellent teacher except I had sex with a 14-year-old.’ It is a hard sell for many people to believe that the punishment should be the same. But they are equally destructive.”

What do you think? How can we better protect our kids against predators of either sex — especially in our schools?

Or, on a lighter note, what are you doing this weekend to celebrate the holiday??? I hope you keep warm. We might be asking the Easter Bunny to hide those baskets and candy-filled eggs inside, huh?

Dang, can’t kids enjoy ANYTHING without parents having to worry about lead poisoning or some other horrible thing?

I’m not kidding, just 30 minutes ago I had to make a quick run to the drug store and grabbed a bag of plastic Easter eggs for Babycakes to play with this weekend. She got to play with a few when we got her Easter pictures taken the other day, and she thought they were very cool.

By the way, she calls them “balls!” But she also calls green peas “balls,” too. Too funny!

Anyway, I just got back to my desk and saw this wire story about some plastic Easter eggs testing for lead paint. Are you kidding me?! You can read about it by clicking here.

Well, I’m still giving her the eggs to play with. I’m not going to live in fear of everything. We all grew up playing with plastic eggs, too, and we’re fine, right?

I’m also looking forward to taking Babycakes to her first official Easter egg hunt this weekend. She’ll have fun playing with all of her cousins, I’m sure.

What are you all doing this weekend with your kids? Going to any Easter egg hunts?

The baby has been healthy as a horse since she got her ear tubes (knock on wood).

But for months, and I mean MONTHS, she was really sick off and on. Mostly on. And I got sick a few times, too.

Even though my husband and I took turns staying home with her when she was feverish and yucky, I ended up having to take a lot of days off work. In fact, I think I’ve used up all of my sick time and personal days for the year already.

I was really worried about her, but also, I was worried about my job. I didn’t want anyone to think I was using the baby as an excuse to miss work — because in the past, I didn’t even use ONE sick day all year.

I’m probably crazy, but I was so worried that I even told one of my bosses, “Please remember what it was like before I had the baby, and realize I’ll get back to that point again when she gets a little older and healthier.”

She laughed and told me not to worry. She knows I’m a hard worker, she said. That was a relief.

But isn’t it sad that parents with little children feel the need to worry like this at all? If we’re keeping up with our workload, and still doing our best — even if we aren’t getting the office face time — we shouldn’t punish ourselves, or get punished by the bosses, right?

That’s not always the case. And for many of us, the worry about getting penalized for our parental status is legit. I read a story today that says motherhood really does count against women trying to get jobs in several states — and shockingly, it’s LEGAL. Check out the story by clicking here.

Here’s an expert:

“When Kiki Peppard applied for a secretarial job, her prospective employer asked if she was married and had children. After the single mother of two answered, she was told she wouldn’t be hired because she would cost the employer too much in health insurance.

At her next interview, the same questions came up and the Monroe County mom was turned away again because, she was told, “mothers take too many days off.”

But the biggest surprise for Peppard, 53, of Effort, was learning this type of questioning is not against the law in Pennsylvania. Employers can and do ask questions about marital and family status and make decisions based on the answers.

Peppard said in more than a dozen job interviews in a row, she was rejected because she was a single mother. She ended up supporting her two children with temporary work supplemented by welfare and food stamps.

“It’s Pennsylvania’s dirty little secret,” Peppard said. “I was forced into poverty because of an archaic law.”

And Pennsylvania isn’t the only state that allows this. Questions about marital and family status — and even childcare plans — are allowed in 28 states, according to the story.

The HR people at my job say that line of questioning certainly isn’t legal here in Iowa, and were surprised to hear it was legal anywhere.

What have you experienced? Do you think any form of “parental profiling” should be allowed? Do you think some employers have a point — that employees with kids really do cost more money and time than maybe they’re worth?

I had just come home from work, and I knew my husband wouldn’t be home soon enough to take the dog outside.

It was cold out. The baby was asleep, strapped into her carseat, in the backseat.

I thought about bundling her up in a blanket and carrying her with me to strap the leash on Guinness-the-dog, and then stumble outside again in the thick snow with her — and the eager-to-go dog — in tow.

But what if I fell down in the snow while I was carrying her? And it was so cold out. Besides, it would only take a few minutes to get the dog detail done if I didn’t have to hold onto her, too.

So, I left her strapped in the warm car, with the doors shut and locked — even though I was just in my own driveway — for a few minutes. Other than the time it took to get the leash on the dog and get back outside, she was in clear sight the entire time. She was fine.

Am I a bad mom for doing that? Police in Crestwood, Ill., near Chicago, might think so.

They handcuffed and arrested a mom who left her sleeping 2-year-old daughter in her locked car outside a Wal-Mart store — when it was cold and sleeting outside — so she could quickly run her two older girls to a Salvation Army bucket outside and make a donation.

Security cameras show she was never more than 10 feet away from the car, parked in a loading zone in front of the store. She never went inside.

But police said at the time that it only takes a few unsupervised moments — just like that — for something bad to happen to a young child.

The charges against this mom were dropped Thursday. You can read more about it by clicking here. But the incident has created a firestorm of comments all over the Internet, with some people supporting the mom and many others agreeing with police.

What do you think?

Boy, was I feeling smug or what?

I posted earlier this week about Babycakes’ growing vocabulary, and oh, how proud I was to hear that first “kkkkk” sound as she pushed herself to finally say, “Cup!”

And I’m still proud. My girl is amazing! Brilliant! A regular smarty-pants!

But … she doesn’t know how to read yet. I know, can you believe that?! She’s such a slacker.

Seriously, did you see the “Today Show” segment that ran today (or maybe yesterday?) about a 17-month-old girl, named Elizabeth Barrett, who is actually READING. No joke. She reads.

I checked it out. You can, too, by clicking here. It is pretty amazing.

Then, I did a search on YouTube, out of curiosity. There are videos on there of babies reading flash cards at a much younger age than little Elizabeth. What in the world?!

I thought my son (who is now 16) was a brainiac (and of course, he was! Still is! haha!) when he was about 4 years old — he could pick out words to read in my college textbooks. And I laughed my booty off when he was able to read a sign at a gas station that said, “Ice cold beer.”

So, I thought I might have another Baby Einstein on my hands with Babycakes and her PASSION — and I really mean PASSION — about books and reading and this sudden surge in vocab.

But can she read? Not a single word. Not yet. And that’s OK with me. That means I can still spell out naughty words when I’m cussing at home! haha!

What do you think? Did your kids read at an early age?

A co-worker saw a picture of Babycakes on my computer screen at the office this morning, and said, “Man. How do you leave her to go to work?”

It’s hard — especially when you think about what a fun age she’s at now, at almost 15 months old. I’m her mother and more than a little biased, but dang, she’s just so cute.

Oh, come on, chime in, people! You know your kids are cute, too!

Well, the fun at my house lately centers around watching Babycakes communicate more and more. And folks, it’s finally happened … She’s saying real words — and more than just her old favorites: “dog-dog,” “mama” and “dada.”

The other day, she pointed up at a bottle she saw (yes, yes, she still has a bottle — I’m working on that!) and said, “Milk.” It came out plain as day! I was so delighted, saying, “Yes, yes, that’s milk. You want some milk? Well, let me get it for you!”

Then, the next day, we again were discussing the bottle. I told her that babies drink out of bottles, and that Mommy drinks out of a cup. Wouldn’t she want to drink more often out of a cup, too?

And then it happened. She pointed to my glass of apple juice and said, oh-so-plain and deliberately, “Cup.” We threw a mini-party over that one!

She also is regularly saying, “Hi” and “bye” now, too.

Now, if only I could steer her away from saying her favorite word: “No, no, no, no, no!” HAHA!

Isn’t that just the way? I try not to say no to her very often, and instead try to redirect her to something else when she’s getting into trouble (like touching the stove or doing something equally dangerous). But apparently, I say it enough to make it a favorite vocab word.

Did your kids pick up on the “no” word like that, too? What did you do about it?