The Working Mom by Kay Luna

I’m allergic to bee stings. But I couldn’t resist dressing up the baby in a bee costume for her first Halloween, just so I could have a pleasant experience with a bee! And it was.

My little bee isn’t old enough for candy, but she — and lots of other kids — brought a lot of smiles last weekend to the faces of the residents at the independent/assisted living facility where my grandparents live. The children and their parents all paraded through the halls, where the residents waited with bowls of candy, visiting with each other. It was great to see.

Unfortunately, the photographer (my little sister!) cut off their heads, but that’s my Grandma and Granddad sitting on the bench by the walker that Babycakes is holding herself up on in the picture posted here.

We saw a lot of adorable costumes.There were lots of princesses and ninjas and even almost the whole cast of main characters from the Wizard of Oz (they said the Scarecrow was sick).

But apparently it’s the trend this year for little girls to dress up in sexy costumes, as written about in this story. What a shame.

I understand why young girls feel pressured to look older and beautiful — I remember feeling that way as a young girl, myself, seeing all the glossy pictures of beautiful teens and women in magazines and on TV.

But as young as 8 year olds? Or younger??? What are we teaching our girls?

It’s a big responsibility to have a daughter. I say that because I notice myself making a conscious effort — and she’s only 10 months old — to be careful how I speak about women and beauty and body image issues. I ask less often, “Do I look fat in this?” I cringe when I hear people make comments about how they can’t wait to “take her shopping” and how she’s going to be “a shoe person.”

I want SO MUCH MORE for her than that.

But I’ll settle on enjoying her first Halloween … for now.

So, I was talking this morning with another reporter, who also is a Mommy with little ones, and we came to a consensus.

We didn’t really like our babies’ earliest infant months.

I don’t know about her, but as soon as I admitted it, I felt guilty. Really guilty.

I mean, how can a Mom say she didn’t enjoy her baby’s infancy? It sounds horrible. But, even as those first three or so months of my Babycakes’ life were happening, I knew it was true.

That doesn’t mean I don’t adore her, and her brother. I love them more than anything else in the whole world.

And I was so incredibly lucky to have three months off work to spend with my littlest one.

But those first several weeks with my daughter were exhausting and, well, pretty much miserable. it was no one’s fault — especially not the baby’s fault. It just was.

I felt cooped up in the country, in the winter, in my empty house with no one there during the day but the baby, the dog and my Rachael Ray cooking shows.

I was exhausted, sleeping when the baby slept — which wasn’t very often or very long. She nursed almost constantly, and I’m not exaggerating that. And I was battling my teenaged son during some of that transition time, which was emotionally draining.

It was like a cloud hanging over the house.

And one day, when she was about 3 months old, the bad vibes lifted.

She started sleeping longer. I started supplementing with formula during the day. And I went back to work, which gave me the chance to get back into the world and be a separate person — if only for a few hours a day.

I like to read stories about motherhood, and so many writers say they feel “drunk” in the “delicious smell of milk” and other wonderful adjectives and descriptions about having new babies.

I also love babyhood. I LOVE the age and stages my daughter is in right now.

But am I horrible for feeling relieved that she isn’t an infant anymore?

Here are the new pictures that I promised: Babycakes’ 9-month photos. She’s already a month older than she was in these, which just shows you how fast time flies.

I’m excited that her hair is finally growing long enough to get a little barrette clipped in there. And in the back, she’s getting sweet little curls, which are so cute.

But lately, it’s mostly her personality that makes me giggle with delight.

She’s crawling everywhere — FAST. And as she goes, she’s usually carrying along some special toy, either in one of her busy hands, or her mouth. She’s very creative.

And she pulls herself up on every piece of furniture she can reach. Sometimes, for a few seconds, she forgets she doesn’t know how to walk yet — and she lets go. Even though she’s getting so good at balancing on her own, little miss usually grabs right back onto the furniture, or lets herself down gently to the ground.

And as she moves all around the house, it’s plain to see that her mind is very busy. Because she’s jabbering and jabbering and pointing and jabbering ALL THE TIME. I love it.

My husband jokes that we might not love it when she’s older. And because I have a teenager, I think he’s probably right. haha!

But for now, I’m soaking in everything that has to do with having a baby daughter — even the gross stuff, like the teething-induced drool and runny nose and yucky diapers.

We took her yesterday on her first autumn daytrip to Galena, to see the fall leaves (not so pretty up that way quite yet, by the way) and to get her first Halloween pumpkin. She was SO GOOD! Even with the long car ride, and going to all the shops and out to eat, she was nothing but a princess.

Well, except for those last 10 minutes or so in the truck on our way home. Luckily, she had Grandma Kathy in the backseat with her, singing just about every nursery song on the planet … and ones that she made up on the fly. Good concert.

Then, today she got another fun surprise.

Mrs. Amy — our beloved new babysitter — has caught on to one of Babycakes’ new favorite pasttimes: Pretending to talk on the phone. She is nurturing this new interest, and the baby’s urge to play with anything electronic and “deliciously naughty,” by buying her a Little Mermaid pretend cell phone.

You should have seen her little toothy grin when Mrs. Amy gave it to her this morning.

One last thought: There’s a good story in the Washington Post today about raising a “green” baby with eco-friendly products and foods at www.washingtonpost.com. It offers some not-so-expensive ideas to help save the environment, without overhauling everything you do with your baby.

And it completely backs up one of my favorite pastttimes, which my friends have made fun of for years: Shopping at resale stores. Not only does it help my wallet (I’m a well-known cheapskate), but it also recycles little-used baby clothes, equipment and toys. Now, that’s a true bargain.

My heart jumped when I read the alert today that drug makers are voluntarily yanking infant cold medicines — very common ones! — from the shelves, because of potential health risks to babies under 2.

As you know, my little Babycakes has been perpetually sick for the past month or so with ear infections, which my pediatrician’s office thinks is linked to the excess slobber caused by her teething.

And after finishing yet another antibiotic, the very next day she was sick again this week. She’s on a new antibiotic now for a DOUBLE ear infection, suffering some temperature spikes and currently taking baby Tylenol and baby Motrin to treat her fever and pain.

I’m increasingly uncomfortable with all the medication she’s been on lately, particularly now. The medicines she’s on are not the ones included in the recall, but I’m still really worried.

I’m writing a story about this for the paper tomorrow, and I’d really like to talk to some parents about this for my article. Anyone out there???

The picture on the right — thank goodness — is not my baby at birth. I’m too much of a wimp for that.

My daughter (pictured at one week old, on top of the area’s BEST newspaper, on left) weighed 7 lbs. 2 oz., and this Russian baby born Sept. 26 to 42-year-old Tatiana Khalina weighs 17 lbs!!! That’s just one pound less than what my own Babycakes weighs now — at 9 months old!

All I can say is OUCH.

Speaking of pictures, I took Babycakes on Friday to get her 9-month pictures taken. She usually is so stoic that I have to explain, “Really, she’s all right. She just doesn’t smile too much. She has to warm up to you.” But this time, she shined in the spotlight! She smiled and posed — even with a flower stem in her mouth, like an exotic woman — for the photographer. When I get them back, I’ll post a few here.

The smiles faded in the day, though, when she started pulling at her ear. Took her to the doctor and found out she’s got an ear infection — AGAIN — caused by teething. Her nose is runny and full and she’s got an upset stomach, too. And she’s got a FIFTH tooth peeking through now, next to her two front teeth.

Someone who works with me — who also has a baby about Babycakes’ age — asked me today if the baby yells a lot. He says his little son likes the sound of his voice, and wondered if that’s “normal.” I assured him that YES!!!!!!!! — I’m yelling here, like the kids! haha! — it’s apparently normal, because Babycakes does it all the time.

She also sometimes throws fits when she doesn’t get what she wants IMMEDIATELY, which she believes is what’s supposed to happen. She yells and throws her toys, but if I ignore her outburst, she’ll settle down and continue playing in a few minutes … usually. Sometimes, it takes her a while to forget what made her mad, especially if I’ve taken away some deliciously naughty item … like a set of car keys or my cell phone. What a character!

We’re taking Mommy and Me swimming lessons now, and she seems to love the water. The lessons are in the same pool where I took maternity swimming class while I was pregnant, so it’s like we’ve come full circle.

What’s going on in your world?