The Working Mom by Kay Luna

How often do you tell your kids you love them? Can you tell them you love them TOO much?

I ask because today I was reading another Mommy blog, called Mother Talkers, and ran across a diary about this essay in The New York Times. The author admits that she doesn’t often say “I love you” to her child because it feels uncomfortable to her, but thinks he knows she loves him by her actions.

I’m the opposite.

I’m the one in the family who tells the kids — usually multiple times a day and night — that we love them. I say it a lot. I’m the same way with the rest of our relatives and close friends.

My husband doesn’t think he needs to say it that much. He would rather show his love through his actions — like taking time to go fishing or golfing or to the shooting range with our son, or sitting and listening to the baby sputter out her first sounds for what seems like hours.

What’s your approach?

First, about Babycakes. She’s sick.

She’s 8 months old now, and it’s the first time she’s really been sick, other than an eye infection around the time I came back to work from maternity leave. So, I should feel good about that (yay, breastfeeding!).

But I feel like a jerk, because I found out yesterday that she’s not just a little sick — she has an ear infection and tonsillitis.

Who knew? I called the doctor’s office about a week ago about her runny nose, but they said to just give her over-the-counter medication, because she hadn’t had a fever. She didn’t act too fussy. She was still eating OK.

When her nose got really congested, I went with my gut and called the doctor again. Hence, the diagnosis.

Even though she’s not feeling the greatest, my little sweetie still is crawling all over the place. And not just crawling, but also pulling herself up to a standing position — wobbly and all — wherever she can get a good grip. I even had to block her from the toilet this morning.

She also speaks frequently about someone named “Bob,” or maybe she’s saying “bop.” That’s one of her favorite sounds to make now. I can’t connect it to anything yet, but I’ll keep you posted.

Another funny thing she’s doing lately is laughing out loud whenever we say, in a cartoonishly loud whisper, “I’M WHISPERING VERY LOUD TO YOU!” That was one of the various random things my Mom said to the baby last weekend (well, it’s true, Mom!), and it sent the baby into giggles — so, of course, now we can’t stop!

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In other news, my teenaged boy seems to still be doing fine in California. He started school there last week in a building with 3,000 students, where walking in the hallways between classes is like pushing through a crowd of people leaving a big concert. The school is so big, the kids have seven minutes to get from class to class. They have to apply for lockers, and the lines have been so long that he hasn’t got one assigned to him yet.

It’s huge, but he seems to like it a lot.

He’s been sailing a lot on weekends, and cruises around on foot after school, experimenting with cool little cafes and restaurants for supper. Some of the stuff he talks about eating sounds so good!

And he’s made a friend (another guy his age who’s the son of one of his dad’s friends), which I’m really happy about.

He still calls me quite a bit, but there is a downside to our new long-distance relationship. He has crossed the line with me on the phone a few times now, pushing the limits of his “independence” from me by trying to limit what we can talk about — especially homework.

That’s ridiculous, of course, because, as I’ve told him, it doesn’t matter where he is — two miles or 2,000 miles away — I’m still his mother. And I’m always going to check on things like his homework until he’s a grown man and done with school.

This is less about me wanting to “boss” him, and more about me trying to make sure he’s taking care of business.

That’s about all I want to say about that.

UPDATE: My boy called and gave me a heartfelt apology about the way he spoke to me, so all is forgiven. We’re both a lot happier now!